Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young . .
After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take
another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this
other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a
widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made
it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her
to go out for dinner and a movie. “What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked.
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a
surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. “I thought that it would be pleasant
to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.” She thought
about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.
When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous
about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her
hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding
anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s. “I told
my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,
“she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My
mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to
read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the
entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic
smile was on her lips. “It was I who used to have to read the menu when you
were small,” she said. “Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the
favor,” I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation –
nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We
talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she
said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I
“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home. “Very nice. Much
more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so
suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her. Some time later, I
received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place
mother and I had dined. An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I
wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates –
one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night
meant for me. I love you, son.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and
to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more
important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these
things cannot be put off till “some other time.”
This letter will probably never
reach you, Damini. And if by chance it does, I hope when you're feeling a
little better, you read it.
Outside your room in the
hospital, outside the corridors smelling of medicine, outside the operating
theaters, the world is crumbling. Thousands of people are protesting, signing
petitions, updating facebook statuses, writing to the PM - all to bring justice
to the accused. Some people want them hung. Some want them castrated. Some want
them to be handed over to the public.
Obviously, none of this will
I read in an article somewhere
that death penalties can only be given to the rarest of rare cases. And (it
continued to say) that unless the victim dies, it cannot be eligible for a
rarest of rare case.
Kasab qualifies because he killed
many in cold blood. Your rapists apparently don't.
We live in India Damini. A
country of complications and contradictions. A country with age old laws and
age old people fiercely guarding them.
I got an invite on facebook
today. It read "Save women". The event was at India gate, I believe.
I remember shaking my head when I saw the invite. Save women? All in the course
of one day?
Things are not looking good Damini. Not for you, not for Delhi, not for India
and not for humanity. People are people, but only bodily so. Inside, they're
animals. A man guns down little children in a school. Someone murders his own mother.
Four drunk men rape and almost kill a defenseless woman. No, things aren't
looking good at all.
Perhaps the damn Mayans were right. Perhaps the world is going to end.
Because as far as I'm concerned,
this is the end right here. When humanity fails, there's nothing to look
forward to. All the education we've received, all the upbringing we've had, all
the degrees we've religiously collected, all the Gods and Goddesses we believe
in - amounts to precious little if at the end of the day, we're but as wild as
And even animals are better than
Outside the hospital, there's a
blame war raging. The BJP's blaming the Congress. The Congress is blaming it's
Police force. The police force is blaming the society. The society is blaming
the party in power. And so, like passing the parcel, everyone's shifting their
baggage of responsibility to the next person.
Meanwhile, the people who really care, the people who are affected, are
organizing protests and candlelight marches. The people who care, are praying
for your speedy recovery.
Because Damini, the truth is this.
Nothing else can be done.
Shinde says measures are being
put in place. No more tinted windows. More patrolling. Speedier case hearings.
But you know and I know, and I know that you know that these are mere words.
In a few days, there will be more sensational news. (Paris Hilton coming to
India perhaps, who knows?) And you will be forgotten. Your case will suffer the
same fate hundreds of cases of despicable crime has suffered -they'll fall into
a void of nothingness.
Damini, I wanted to apologize to
Because I don't think you've
heard it yet. And you need to.
I apologize on behalf of all the
men who stare, the men who strip women nude with their eyes inside lifts on a
regular basis. I apologize for the men who justify such acts by pointing
fingers at the clothes that women wear. I apologize for the police officer
whose hungry eyes make you think twice about writing a complaint.
But most of all, I apologize for
the scarring trauma and pain my side of the sex has caused you.
From all the Men, We wish you a
speedy recovery.. :'( :'(